Britannia Radio

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but it cost us in Britain £500m
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PRIVATE EYE 1219   19/9 - 2/10.08
World’s Most Important Experiment Gets Under Way
    by our Science Staff Cam Britton

Millions waited with bated breath to witness what had been described 
as the most audacious experiment in living history  - the relaunch of 
the Gordon Brown

Hundreds of billions of pounds have been spent on what they are 
calling “the Big Bore” as scientists attempt to replicate the exact 
conditions of all those years ago when New Labour was born.

Brown Hole
Said a spokesman , “It is difficult for the layman to imagine how 
different the universe looked when Tony Blair walked up Downing 
street for the first election, but that is what we are going to do”

As the clock ticked away excitement mounted until at exactly 8.31 am 
the switches were thrown and millions of new policies were released 
into the tunnel - many of them invisible to the naked eye - where 
they collided with each other and then disappeared.

Said one eyewitness, “It was incredible. I have never seen anything 
like it . In fact, I didn’t see anything at all.”

Big Whimper
However. a spokesman for the project said that everything had gone 
according to plan and that there was now dark at the end of the 
tunnel (cont. p94)

On Other Pages
Big Bank Experiment fails
Attempts to reproduce conditions for economic growth ended in failure 
yesterday when everyone’s money disappeared down a black hole and 
[That’s enough pieces about the Big Bang -ed]

Listen Again
Today programme, Radio 4 Wednesday
Hear once again the legendary sequence leading up to 8.31am on 
September 10th 2008 in which Andrew Marr accelerated to record levels 
of excitement until he finally exploded and turned into a black hole