Britannia Radio

Animal Symbol for the EU ?

Suggestions from 'The People'

May I thank all of you who made suggestions for an animal symbol for the EU.  The response was by far the most extensive and your imaginations ran riot.

As a result of your contributions I have sent the following letter to the Chairman of the EP’s Constitutional Affaris Committee and copied it to the European Commissioner for Communication Strategy.

The next meeting of the Committee takes place in a few days time when Mr Leinen’s notable lack of German humour will no doubt surface.

Jo Leinen, Chairman,
Constitutional Affairs Committee
European Parliament

You will recall that a recent meeting of the Constitutional Affairs Committee received a proposal that the EU should adopt an animal symbol. 

This would be added to the flag, motto and anthem symbols of nationhood which had just been re-introduced via your committee as a back door, following their being dropped from the Lisbon Treaty. 

You will also recall the omission of these symbols was to give some flimsy substance to the notion that Lisbon was somehow different from the discredited Constitutional Treaty.

You asked members for our views on the choice of animal, your having acquired the opinion of "experts".  Quite how anyone becomes an "expert" on animal symbolism is - frankly - beyond me.  But never mind.

I felt I should take your request seriously and consult my constituents.

They think your choices rather dull, apart from the elephant.  They liked that suggestion, mainly because the elephant consumes everything edible in its path, tramples everything underfoot, and leaves piles of shit behind.

But I have acquired a long list of new suggestions, just in case the elephant is now out of favour.  These include:

Snakes - most votes by far.  Anaconda, Boa Constrictor and Viper nominated numerous times, amongst many others.

Several other species received multiple votes, including your own Bull, plus Dodo - Octopus - Squirrel - Skunk - and Dinosaur.  No comments needed!  The Dragon also featured several times, my having forgotten to exclude mythical creatures.

Other creatures getting at least one mention were: Ass - Woolly Mammoth - Jackal -Vulture - Chameleon - Duck-billed Platypus - Hyena - Monkey - Newt - Vampire Bat - Parrot - Spider - Sloth - Pig - Russian Bear - Jay - Magpie - Shark - Termite – Lemming - Cuckoo - Tape Worm - Tick - Weasel - Leech - Bombardier Beetle - and Aardvark (which apparently devours everything and lives in the dark).

My own suggestion is crocodile.  Eat you as soon as look at you.

But the prize must go to the lady who used your "expert" selection thus:

B ull
L ion
O wl
T urtle
E lephant
D ove

which slightly mis-spelt the English word "bloated".

It must be most heartening to you and rapporteur Grabowska, whose recent report on civil dialogue with citizens of the EU bemoaned the lack of input from them, to learn of such an enthusiastic, widespread and realistic response to one puny email from my website. 

To help your committee's future deliberations on this vital issue, would you like me to turn this letter into a formal amendment to any future resolution on an animal symbol for the EU?

I should be happy to assist at any time.


Ashley Mote

cc: Margot Wallstrom, EU Commissioner for Communications