PRIVATE EYE 1228 23.1- 5.2.09
GNOME - Royal Bank of Gnome
We welcome the government’s decision to make a further contribution
to the “Save the Banks” national appeal. As readers are aware, banks
perform an invaluable service in refusing to lend money to ordinary
people in need. That is why you, the taxpayer, must give us a
further £1 trillion to enable us lend you back the money in order to
spend your way into more debt. [Is this right ? ed]
This might not sound a very clever idea to you, the layman, but rest
assured that we here at the Royal Bank of Gnome have vyears of
experience working in the complex world of international finance `and
we are confident that the new £1 trillion bail-out will tide us over
for at least two weeks, thus giving us time to shred all the
incriminating documentation about toxic loans and book our flights to
the Cayman Islands.
Yours
Lord Gnome
The Royal Bank of Gnome
Shitpaddle Street
London EC94
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Bank Manager to client: “NO! You can’t borrow your own money”
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