Friday, 27 February 2009

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their famous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this: 
 
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT  

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?  
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.  
ABBOTT: Mac?  
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.  
ABBOTT: Your computer?  
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.  
ABBOTT: Mac?  
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou  
ABBOTT: What about Windows?  
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?  
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?  
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?  
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.  
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.  
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?  
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?  
ABBOTT: Office.  
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?  
ABBOTT: I just did.  
COSTELLO: You just did what?  
ABBOTT: Recommend something.  
COSTELLO: You recommended something?  
ABBOTT: Yes.  
COSTELLO: For my office?  
ABBOTT: Yes.  
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?  
ABBOTT: Office..  
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!  
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows  
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?  
ABBOTT: Word.  
COSTELLO: What word?  
ABBOTT: Word in Office.  
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.  
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.  
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?  
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.  
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?  
ABBOTT: Money. 
COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?  
ABBOTT: Money.  
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?  
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.  
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?  
ABBOTT: Money.  
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?  
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.  
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?  
ABBOTT: One copy.  
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?  
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.  
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?  
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT! (A few days later)  
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?  
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?  
ABBOTT: Click on 'START'......