News From BOM Correspondents - 18

MONDAY, MARCH 30, 2009

News From BOM Correspondents - 18

The unwelfare state

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State Propaganda Costs

The government is now Britains' biggest ad spender, costing us £400m pa. Projects have included a £30m drugs campaign featuring such gems as: "Some people get the giggles after using cannabis, you may laugh at the most random things."

With commercial advertisers slashing budgets, the nanny state is now vital to the ad industry. The airwaves and newspapers are crammed with nanny's important messages on everything from global warming to homophobic thought crime.

George has promised to stop it. We'll need to make sure he does.

(HTP Steve)

40% Jump in EU losses

Following Bliar's surrender of our EU rebate, our budget contribution has soaredby 40% to £6bn pa (£250 pa per household).

At the same time, fraud and other irregularities in the EU budget rose by 20% to €1,392 million (£1.3billion) - and that's just the bit we know about.

That's what I call a moneypit.

(HTP Jeremy P)

Pigs, Porno, and Plugs

The snufflings at the trough have now become so obscene I've instructed Mrs T to avert her gaze.

Worse, the latest revelations about Jacqui's expense claims and her marital arrangements are making us a laughing stock all around the world. As theAustralian broadcaster ABC puts it: 

"Secretary caught in porn scandal on the Home front

The British minister in charge of security for the G20 Summit... has been forced to apologise for submitting an expenses claim which included two pornographic movies which she says were watched by her husband, who also happens to be on the Westminster payroll."

How dare these odious people presume to tell the rest of us how to live our lives?

How dare they help themselves to our cash?

And how dare they make me a laughing stock? I can do that perfectly well on my own.

(HTP Digger)

Contact the dead via the taxpayer

"A PAIR of psychics have been given £4,500 of taxpayers’ money to help grieving relatives “contact the dead”.

In a move branded a disgrace and “hocus-pocus”, mediums Paul and Deborah Rees were awarded the sum to teach people how to contact “the other side”. The couple won funding for their psychic school at Bridgend, South Wales, as part of the Government’s Want2Work job creation scheme."

(HTP Nigel P) 

Fantasy Government

The government has spent £20 grand on setting up a so-called "innovations centre" on the Second Life virtual world website. It's costing a further £12,000 a year to run, even though it is not accessible to the public.

They say: "Our new innovation centre in Second Life is a virtual area where both government and private companies can showcase technological innovations, such as low carbon footprint technology. We believe it could help make sharing technology more efficient and save taxpayers' money as meetings, events and shows can be held online at a fraction of the cost and resources."

We say: FFS! Don't you guys already waste enough of our cash on half-baked techorubbish without paying to play online games?

(HTP Jim M)

Reality Welfare

Too fat to work:

"They weigh 80 stone, claim thousands in benefits - and can't work. Who do they blame? Anyone but themselves.

There's something a little surreal about listening to a family with a combined weight of nearly 80 stone falling over themselves to explain how little they eat. 'Some days I barely eat at all,' declares Emma Chawner, daughter of the house and, at 17 stone, its lightest occupant. 'I don't have breakfast most days. Sometimes I don't have lunch either, and might only have a salad roll for tea. I'm always eating lettuce and apples and stuff.' 

It's a fantasy all right, but we're to blame. We're the ones funding £22 grand a year to house, feed, and clothe the Chawners of Blackburn (pic above). And to keep them in all the saturated fats, sugar, and Gaviscon they will ever need. Why should they work?