PRIVATE EYE 1230 20.2- 5.3.09
BANKERS' CONSPIRACY
Show trial opens in Westminster
Comrades across the nation will have gazed in horror and disgust at
the sight of the hated "Gang of Four" bankers publicly confessing
their errors in front of a tribunal composed of People's
Representatives.
One by one, these maggot-parasites who had been gorging themselves on
the rotting flesh of the capitalist system, abased themselves before
the tribunal, as with trembling voices they read o=ut their
statements in which they admitted they had done nothing wrong.
Just listen to their recital of their crimes against the people.
Comrade Lord Stevenson (ex-Chairman of HLOSS): I wish to make the
most sincere and profound apology to this Committee for any errors I
may have made due rntirely to the global meltdown which no one could
have seen coming, particularly not myself.
Comrade Lord Shred of Wheat (ex-Chairman of ROBS) I wish to say how
profoundly I regret my many errors as chairman, which resulted in the
loss of a great deal of money by a great many Comrades, not the least
of whom was myself when the share price collapsed, my bonus
disappeared and I got the boot. (sobs)
Comrade Andy Pandy (HLOSS): I profoundly regret having to appear
before the Committee and I am deeply sorry that I been put to all the
trouble coming here today to answer all these impertinent questions
about my salary and well earned bonus, the exact size of which is not
in any way your concern.
Comrade Sir Jock McCockup (ROBS):I am very, very sorry for whatever
it is that I have been asked to say that I am sorry for, and hope
that we can now get on with the important task of rebuilding my
conservatory after the damage it suffered at the hands of the recent
'snow event'. (Surely ' rebuilding the British economy after the
damage it suffered at the hands of the bankers'? - Ed)
What a picture of abject contrition these pitiful confessions conjure
up!
One afterr another we saw these one-time 'masters of the universe'
grovelling before the nation, as they admitted some of the gravest
crimes ever committed against the British people - crimes which, as
they made abundantly clear, were solely and entirely their own
responsibility , and nothing to do with myself at any time or in any
way whatsoever. Gordon Brown, Supreme Leader
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