Britannia Radio

PRIVATE EYE 1234          

30.4.09
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Brown shoots spotted’ Claims Chancellor
    by our Research Staff Phil Job-Centres

Alastair Darling last night gave the clearest signal yet that the  
recovery is “far from under way”.

He told MPs that he had “definitive evidence of Brown Shoots.”

“Believe me”, he told the House of Commons ,  “it is not all doom and  
gloom out there.  It’s much worse. Everywhere I look, things are  
withering and dying. That is what I call Brown Shoots”.

LATE NEWS  Brown Shoots Darling
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PRIME MINISTERIAL DECREE No. 42
From the Desk of the Supreme Leader

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THE PEOPLE’S BUDGET
I must remind Comrades that Commissar Darling will shortly be  
presenting his Budget to the Supreme Soviet.

Comrades will be aware that since I myself had to give up presenting  
the budget in order to become the Supreme Leader,  there has been a  
marked deterioration in the national economy.

Comrade Darling has al,ready admitted many errors in the non- 
fulfilment of his Five-Year Plan to eliminate Boom-and-Bustism, and  
he should be warned that there are no rewards for failure in the  
Britain of today (as Comrade Goodwin is well aware)

Already Commissar Balls is waiting in the wings, keen to move on from  
his triumphant direction of the Department for SATS, Skills, Lifelong  
Lollipop Ladies and Sex Education for the Under-Fives.

Let Comrade Darling tremble at the name of Balls.
                            The Supreme Leader
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