"You ain't seen nuffink yet!"
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PRIVATE EYE 1233 3.-16.4.09
PRICES SOAR AS DEFLATION KICKS IN
by our economics staff Anatole Katastrophsky
As I predicted only yesterday, the nightmare of inflation has been
succeeded by the spectre of deflation.
Which is which? This is the question that is puzzling some of the
world's greatest econmomists, oncluding myself.
The answer is simple.
===========================
PRIVATE EYE 1233 3.-16.4.09
PRICES SOAR AS DEFLATION KICKS IN
by our economics staff Anatole Katastrophsky
As I predicted only yesterday, the nightmare of inflation has been
succeeded by the spectre of deflation.
Which is which? This is the question that is puzzling some of the
world's greatest econmomists, oncluding myself.
The answer is simple.
Inflation is when prices are rising by 3 percent.
And deflation is the same.
Goodnight. Could I have my cheque p;ease?
copyright Times will getworse Productions 2009
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
GOVERNMENT TO INTRODUCE 'QUANTITATIVE SLEAZING'
==by our Parliamentary Staff Phil Expense Account
The Prime minister, Gordon Brown, yesterday controversially promised
to increase the amount of sleaze in circulation in Britain.
He explained; "We need a massive injection of sleaze to help the
public lose confidence in the government." He then detailed his 5-
point plan to bring the country to its knees.
1. Government ministers to claim porn films on expenses
2. Government ministers to claim caravans as primary residences
3. Government ministers to pretend to be living with their parents to
claim allowances.
4. Government ministers to pretend to be living with their sisters to
claim allowances.
5. Government MPs to participate in steamy Westmionster love romps
wit mistresses in black stockings and suspenders, Cor ! Phew !
[That's enough five point plan - ed]
The Prime Minister said he was confident thatthis introduction of
'quantitative sleazing ' would take the country back to the golden
period of the last days of John Major's government.
LORD MYNERS 'MISINFORMED' LORD MYNERS
by our political staff Peter Oberwell
Lord Myners today insisted that he had no knowledge of the off-shore
companies he had set up in tax havens such as Bermuda, insisting that
he was misinformed by Lord Mynersat the time as to the nature of
these companies.
"At no time during the negotiations did Lord Myners inform me rhat by
setting up these companies in tax havens I would be making a massive
tax-free profit" a horrified Lord Myners told reporters.
" I am obviously furious with myself for misleading me as to the
nature of these companies, but clearly no blame can be attached to me
for that."
Lord Myners insisted that the only people to blame for this were the
RBS board, Sir Fred Goodwin and Chris Moyles.
And deflation is the same.
Goodnight. Could I have my cheque p;ease?
copyright Times will getworse Productions 2009
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
GOVERNMENT TO INTRODUCE 'QUANTITATIVE SLEAZING'
==by our Parliamentary Staff Phil Expense Account
The Prime minister, Gordon Brown, yesterday controversially promised
to increase the amount of sleaze in circulation in Britain.
He explained; "We need a massive injection of sleaze to help the
public lose confidence in the government." He then detailed his 5-
point plan to bring the country to its knees.
1. Government ministers to claim porn films on expenses
2. Government ministers to claim caravans as primary residences
3. Government ministers to pretend to be living with their parents to
claim allowances.
4. Government ministers to pretend to be living with their sisters to
claim allowances.
5. Government MPs to participate in steamy Westmionster love romps
wit mistresses in black stockings and suspenders, Cor ! Phew !
[That's enough five point plan - ed]
The Prime Minister said he was confident thatthis introduction of
'quantitative sleazing ' would take the country back to the golden
period of the last days of John Major's government.
LORD MYNERS 'MISINFORMED' LORD MYNERS
by our political staff Peter Oberwell
Lord Myners today insisted that he had no knowledge of the off-shore
companies he had set up in tax havens such as Bermuda, insisting that
he was misinformed by Lord Mynersat the time as to the nature of
these companies.
"At no time during the negotiations did Lord Myners inform me rhat by
setting up these companies in tax havens I would be making a massive
tax-free profit" a horrified Lord Myners told reporters.
" I am obviously furious with myself for misleading me as to the
nature of these companies, but clearly no blame can be attached to me
for that."
Lord Myners insisted that the only people to blame for this were the
RBS board, Sir Fred Goodwin and Chris Moyles.
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