Britannia Radio

From the Desk of the Supreme First Secretary of the State, Lord President of the Supreme Soviet Council and Supreme Spokesman for the Supreme Leader (currently G. Brown), Comrade Mandelson. I want to reassure you that I am 100 percent behind the Supreme Leader, who is doing a magnificent job of saving Britain. I have total confidence in his abilities and I am directing you not to focus on the petty and irrelevant bickerings that have been drummed up by the media in an effort to discredit his wise helmsmanship. It is vital that you ignore the frivolous calls for a general election. What on earth would be the point of holding an election when we already have the finest leader anyone could choose? And is not so-called democracy hugely over-rated? Did the country need an election to choose me? No. Did we need an election to choose Comrade Lord Sir Alan Sugar? No. Did we need an election to choose Comrade Baroness Glenys Kinnock? No. In fact, when the masses are allowed to vote they keep coming up with the wrong result! Witness the ridiculous recent results in the County and European polls. So let us all unite behind the Supreme Leader's new Cabinet of all the Talent Shows and stop the dangerous and futile attempts to sink the Ship of State as the Supreme Helmsman guides us through the storm.