Britannia Radio

His Lordship's speech seemed somehow familiar

Tyler missed Mandy's high camp performance yesterday, but within seconds he was emailed by a rattled member of the recently rediscovered middle class. OMG, it said, OMG - did you see that?! Mand has turned things around! A few deft strokes from the Master and their resistance is visibly stiffened... Gord somehow sneaks back in... within 12 months His Lordship takes the controls... we're going west!

His Lordship obviously went down well, and the morning after Poll is still panting:

"Yesterday came Peter Mandelson's kiss of life... For the first time he took his party off the back foot on debt, hammering out thundering threats that the Tories would choke off recovery before it has even begun. The economy is the battleground as never before. Who could trust David Cameron and George Osborne with the delicate recovery?

...Mandelson's attack on Tory plans to demolish economic investment had a crocodile's bite: you could feel Cameron and Osborne wince and summon their speechwriters for an instant re-write. His pro-manufacturing, pro-R&D, pro-skills and low-carbon investment began to look like a "white heat of technology" winning theme."

OMG indeed.

Although it must be said, fellow lefty Hoggart was somewhat less enraptured:

"The business secretary was by turns coy, kittenish, camp and crazed. Occasionally his voice rose to a squeak, his facial expressions were frankly weird, and now and again he slowed alarmingly as if his carburettor had cut out. Half the time he was like one of those people who shout at strangers on buses; the other half he resembled a slightly creepy uncle reading a bedtime story. Sometimes he ranted; at other times his voice descended to a sinister murmur."

Sounds more like it, but Hoggart was in a minority. For most of the faithful, Mandy clearly hit the spot.

And who are we to stand in judgement? They are facing annihilation. They were crying out for relief, and it's been so long since they were pleasured by a seasoned professional.

Out here in the normal world, somehow we don't think housewives' choice Mr Cam has anything to worry about.

PS Fifty off the wrist? Tyler once had a student holiday job in a factory, where the boss was always wandering round asking if anyone fancied giving him said fifty. Ah, the golden days of British manufacturing (apparently still alive and well on the railways).