The Chattering Teeth Classes

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 26, 2010

The Chattering Teeth Classes

At age seven Tyler was scarred for life by his primary school teacher's tale of her great grandad being frozen to death on a stagecoach crossing Salisbury Plain. Now that was real weather.

And as it happens Mr and Mrs T will be spending tonight in Swindon. That is, if they make it through the weathergirl's promised whiteout hell.

Luckily the weathergirl's right hand girl in the Met Office global warming department has just been on R4 Today telling us that global warming is proceding at an even faster pace than she'd previously feared. Something to do with drifting boys being colder than ships apparently.

Well, in truth I'm not quite sure that is what she was saying. Just before the 7.57 weather forecast with its whiteout prediction for the weekend, she told us this could be the warmest year on record. And if it hadn't been for those pesky sunspots - the ones the Met Office never even mentioned to us before others pointed them out - we'd already be frying.

Hmm, yes.

In 2008-09 the Met Office cost us taxpayers £162m.

Of more importance to those of us in the teeth-chattering real world is Ofgem's newly announced probe into retail energy prices. Their latest analysis shows that the energy companies have indeed whacked up their profit margins for domestic consumers. In the last three months they've increased from £65 pa to £90 pa per dual fuel customer :

Now, they have to make a profit - we all need to understand that. But publicly raising their margins in the face of general austerity looks a tad on the dumb side. You wonder if we're getting the whole story.

So time to saddle up the stallions and hit the ice road.

Tally-ho.