Britannia Radio

Israel’s Sleeping-Pill Prime Minister:

An Unheard of Dialogue

Paul Eidelberg

Simplisio. I can’t understand why you would like to see the Netanyahu government fall.
You surely don’t prefer Livni to Bibi? She’s not only stupid but stuffed with herself.

Mercurio. Yes, she’s a conceited Cassandra, and yes, she has established a solid reputation as an imbecile. But that’s precisely why I prefer her to Bibi!

Simplisio. Merc, have you gone crazy?

Mercurio. My dear Simplisio, I may be crazy, but I’m not stupid.

Simplisio. But Merc, Livni would give away Judea and Samaria for nothing.

Mercurio. Look Sim, let’s get some facts straight. You know Bibi also has an established reputation, of course for weakness and lying—admittedly, pretty common for Israeli politicians. But please don’t remind me of Bibi’s voting for the Gaza withdrawal when he was in Sharon’s cabinet. I’m bored hearing of his being complicit in the expulsion of 8,000 Jews from their homes in Gaza, which his father, Benzion, rightly call a crime. And if you say he also endorsed a PLO state in the heartland of the Jewish people, I could say the same of our marvelous Tzippininni. So my reasons for preferring Livni are not simplistic.

Simplisio. Okay, Merc, spill it. I’m all ears.

Mercurio. Well Sim, it’s like this. What bothers me most at this political juncture is not that Bibi, like other PMs, is a wimpish liar. No: what troubles me is that he is also a most effective sleeping pill. He’s Israel’s number one soporific. One speech from him and right-of-center Israelis become somnambulant—and this is what makes him so dangerous. People admire him as an orator, but I ask you, has Bibi’s oratory made Israel more secure? All it does is help American Zionist organizations raise money by having him speak, in his impeccable English, at their fund-raising dinners in New York. The suckers are so proud of Israeli democracy, of which they know next-to-nothing. But they feel so good about themselves by supporting this endangered democracy, that is, by supporting Bibi even though he endorsed a PLO state without Knesset or public debate. These American philanthropists can then go to sleep with a good conscience, without pausing to think: Hey! Maybe Israel is less a democracy than a democratically elected despotism which repeatedly betrays the teachings of our Prophets and Sages?

Simplisio. Merc, I think I’ve heard this nonsense from Eidelberg. But Merc, what you’re saying, even if right or half-right, is irrelevant. I admit Bibi is not a knight in shining armor, but Livni would be daily disaster. So I still don’t see why you prefer her to Bibi.

Mercurio. My dear Simplisio, have you noticed that there have been no public demonstrations against Bibi despite his unauthorized endorsement of a PLO state—not even from Women-in- Green! This only goes to prove that Bibi is the sleeping-pill prime minister par excellence.

Simplisio. Wait a minute Merc: I’ve noticed that Caroline Glick has taken some pot shots at him.

Mercurio. Yeah, but nothing like what she said of Sharon when he was PM. You may remember that shortly before that despot effectively nullified the January 2003 election by implementing Labor’s expulsion policy, Glick wrote an article in the Jerusalem Post entitled “A COWARD FOR A PRIME MINISTER.” Nothing close to that on Bibi, who behaves like a French poodle vis-a-vis Obama, another French poodle.

Simplisio. Do you think little Tzippi would do better? She can’t even face up to Hillarious Clinton! And she’s a complete babe-in-the-wood on Arab terrorism. To hear her talk, you almost get the impression that she regards Arab terrorism as a vigorous form of anti-Semitism which could be overcome if we withdrew from Judea and Samaria! How stupid can you get?

Mercurio. But that’s just why I prefer this dim wit to our intelligent and articulate but sleep-inducing Bibi!

Simplisio. Merc, I still don’t get it, and you’re beginning to make me sleepy as well/

Mercurio. Okay Sim, start thinking like you might after reading Machiavelli. For starters: What would have happened if our mindless Ms. Livni had won the 2009 election and proceeded to endorse a PLO state in Judea and Samaria? That’s right Simplisio, instead of the nation hitting the sack there would have been a national uprising! And that’s why I prefer Livni to our sleeping-pill prime minister. Just let her yield another slice of Jewish land with its Jewish homes and synagogues and you can be sure the IDF will not expel a singleJew—and that’s just what we need to bring about regime change in this dysfunctional as well as deceptively democratic and half-hearted Jewish State of Israel!