1st October 2011 For me, the enduring, shocking image of the summer riots was the rolling TV news (how much better Sky is at this than the BBC) of a huge furniture warehouse going up in flames with no firemen or police in sight. What had our country come to when we could not defend small businesses and shopkeepers from such criminal scum? Would we ever fight back? I am pleased to report the news from the ashes of the store — House of Reeves in Croydon — is good. In fact, it’s great. Ablaze: House of Reeves furniture warehouse in Croydon is engulfed by flames during the August 2011 riots One family drove the 200 miles from Nottingham and said they would buy a wardrobe if the 80-year-old chairman, Maurice Reeves, signed the back. He duly did. A local van driver also delivered a suite 80 miles away in Southampton for free as his personal tribute. The local radio station and newspapers gave free advertising for the company’s smaller showroom across the road which, although smashed up, was still capable of trading. An online regeneration fund to help the store has raised £10,000. Incredibly, because of support from all over the country, the business has maintained its previous level of turnover. I salute not only the Reeves family who have run the store since 1867, but all the other shopkeepers (50,000 retailers were affected by the riots in 40 towns) who have fought back against The Scum. And I salute all the unsung people who have gone out of their way to stand side by side with the little people of British business. A good friend of mine, who recently paid out a whopping £25,000 to become a registered Corgi heating engineer, was pondering how he could kick-start his new business. He needed to find customers but didn’t have enough money to advertise in the local directory (Yellow Pages etc) or local papers so he thought he would try Groupon, an online collective buying service that gets discounts by putting customers together. And this is his incredible story. He decided to offer customers a boiler service for £35 (it would normally cost £60), plus they would receive a free gas safety certificate that should have cost another £60. So he went on the Groupon site offering his deal in the Slough and Reading area at midnight last Friday and it was taken off 24 hours later as per the rules. And what do you think happened in that very short space of time? Incredibly, he accumulated an astonishing 350 customers who had all paid their money (with Groupon taking 50 per cent). He was so busy that his mobile was blocked and he had to use a telephone answering service to book in appointments. He also had to hire two other engineers to get round his customers. There was not much money in it for him — in fact, only £17.50 per job after Groupon’s cut — but he tells me that simply by putting his name and number on the boiler after servicing will mean that over the years he will make his money back. Furthermore, 5 per cent of the boilers will not be in a good condition and he will have to replace them. What a great story. And, yes, why don’t professional people start using Groupon, too? What about lawyers trying to reduce their costs? You’re right, I’ve gone mad. It is said that the Palestinians, not happy with just firing 10,000 rockets at Israel over the years, now want Tony Blair to be dumped as a peace envoy because he is too pro-Israel. I hope to God he is pro-Israel. Their people face an uncertain future in the years ahead thanks to being surrounded by mad Muslims with hate in their hearts and rocket-propelled grenades in their hands. I would be grateful if Cameron was to assure the only democratic country in the region that we will fight to defend them in the way we fought to defend the people of Libya and Iraq. Recently, I was at a breakfast talk by Blair, who was pretty downbeat about the Arab Spring and concerned that unless billions were pumped into the area the people might take it out on Israel. Certainly we have no common cause in the Middle East. Iran wants to hang Christians, the Saudis want to whip women drivers, Bahrain imprisons innocent doctors and nurses. The resourceful, but right now frightened, Israelis should have our support. Let’s hear it Dave. No campaign is truly lost until Vanessa Redgrave supports it. So the Dale Farm non-travellers must know they were done for when the thick thespian turned up to give her support. However, I have some good news for my friends addicted to old tyres, as I have discovered that Ms Redgrave lives in a fashionable mansion block on Chiswick High Road, West London, where there are two other flats for sale. If the non-travellers clubbed together and bought the flats, Ms Redgrave wouldn’t have too far to travel — compared to Basildon, which is two hours away – and she could drop in and support her friends every day. Imagine the scene. The population has gone quite mad and voted in Ed Miliband and he is holding his first Star Chamber to decide which companies he approves/disapproves of and what their tax rates will be. So you are green. Excellent — 10 per cent. You are carbon neutral. Excellent — 7.5 per cent. You are a property company. Disgraceful — 95 per cent. You are a media company? Even worse — 100 per cent. Of all the crackpot ideas I have listened to (and witnessed) over the years, Miliband (or, as Denis Healey might have said, ‘Silly Billy Mili’) is the most ridiculous and a massive vote-loser. Miliband is so unconnected with his own senior people that the only supporter prepared to go around the broadcast studios was Neil ‘will the last one turn out the lights’ Kinnock. Instead of the Red Flag being sung at their Liverpool conference, the delegates should have stood and sung: ‘Are you Kinnock in disguise?’ A first! A first! You know me — I would turn up to the opening of an envelope if it involved appearing on television and giving my views, but I declined to go on BBC2’s Newsnight on Thursday to sit alongside the revolting pervert Max Mosley. I had three reasons: a) I hadn’t had the injections; b) the producers wouldn’t agree to fumigate the Green Room; and c) I was concerned that if I humiliated the ex-Formula One boss in the on-screen argument, he would actually start enjoying it and offer me £100 to carry on. Why doesn’t the BBC keep Mosley away from the studio and do outside broadcasts from his dungeon? Cat Stevens — better known as Yusuf Islam nowadays — has had a poor Press these past couple of decades. I would like to change that. Last Saturday, unannounced and unexpected, he turned up at a parents’ evening at a special needs school in Kingston, Surrey, paid £100 for his ticket, agreed under pressure to sing Father And Son (which got to No. 28 in Holland in 1970 — true!) and stayed afterwards and chatted to teachers and parents. He knew of the event because the dad of one of the teaching assistants is a musician in Yusuf’s band. Yusuf and that band had headlined at the O2 only two days earlier. Hats off to the Cat. Colonel Gadaffi at Blackburn Rovers? Could Colonel Gaddafi be at the back of the main stand at Premier League club Blackburn Rovers? Nobody’s been there for years. Or possibly inside the trophy cabinet at Charlton Athletic (an oxymoron). A lady friend went into my local building society and asked for a loan, as she wanted a divorce. The manager told her: ‘I’m sorry, we only give loans for home improvements.’ My friend replied: ‘His leaving would be a home improvement.’ Nancy Dell'Olio Back in the summer, Nancy Dell’Olio claimed her boyfriend, the theatre director Sir Trevor Nunn, had told her she was ‘the most intelligent person he had ever met’. No wonder his plays are so dire. After just three months the romance had sadly ended. Oh well, back to the Mensa dating site, Trevor. I am told by my army of eagle-eyed spies (that’s you, dear readers) that at least two schools in the Torbay area were closed last Friday for ‘teacher training’ when the children had only just returned from holiday. I suppose it’s too much to ask for the teachers to hold their session during their 13 weeks of holidays. Simon Cowell: No commitment, no children, no grandchildren. Worth: £500 million. Me: Married, three healthy, married children, five beautiful grandchildren. Worth: Priceless. (An email sent to me from Olive, a reader, which I thought needed a wider airing.)
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2043973/UK-riots-Rising-ashes-true-spirit-England.html#ixzz1ZbkGi5ZZRising from the ashes, the true spirit of England
By KELVIN MACKENZIE
Blair's right about Israel
Who's a silly billy Mili, then?
Me, Moseley's whipper-in?
Well done Cat, you're a class act
Sunday, 2 October 2011
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