‘Ello ‘Ello ‘Ello me Lord

Berlusconi Is the New John Major | Crash Bang Wallace
What Marta Andreasen Said Before She Defected | Asa Bennett
LibDem Tory Press Paranoia | Speccie
What Is Mark Thompson Hiding? | Standard
Leaked Docs Behind Court Silencing Student Paper | MediaGuido
UKIP Making Ground in Eastleigh | BBC
Four Types of Westminster Sexual Predator | Speccie
What Clegg Aide Knew About Rennard | Telegraph
Who Knew What When? | BBC
Now Tories Really Need to Win Eastleigh | Iain Martin
I Should Have Opposed Climate Change Act | Douglas Carswell

‘Ello ‘Ello ‘Ello me Lord

Will need some sturdy cuffs for those hands…

Bahrain Bans Guy Fawkes

A lovely new vase for Dave here, a multi-million pound arms deal there – but it’s not all forced handshakes and stony smiles in Bahrain. Today the country’s Industry and Commerce minister Hassan Fakhro has issued a decree banning imports of Guy Fawkes masks. Apparently the Bahrain authorities are worried about the masks being smuggled in through ports by anti-government freedom fighters. As the most famous wearer of the mask memorably declares:
“People should not be afraid of their governments, governments should be afraid of their people. Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask there is an idea, and ideas are bulletproof…”

Owen Paterson’s Horse Pun Swear Jar

Not only did Guido reveal that Owen Paterson has set up a swear jar for any Defra staffer brave enough to crack a horse pun in yesterday’s Suncolumn, but there could be more equine trouble ahead. Sources whisper that ‘bute’ may be the least of our worries; if the horse tranquilliser Ketamine – which doubles as a rave drug – has not been tested for, it won’t be a laughing matter. One to keep an eye on…
Meanwhile, the results of the House of Commons horsemeat tests are in:

“As a precautionary measure, on Monday 18 February the House of Commons Catering Service removed from its menus four beef items supplied by Brakes, as they carried out tests on their products containing beef.

The items were:

• beef and onion pie
• steak and kidney pie
• steak kidney suet pudding
• and beef Italian meatballs.

Tests on all four items have been completed and all have concluded negative for equine DNA.

The items are back on menus from today.”

It’s one mule for us…

The Door Locker Revealed
Telegraph Put Specific Allegations To Clegg’s Oates in April 2010

Yesterday Clegg told us: “my office only received concerns indirectly and anonymously”. We now know they were detailed, specific allegations. The Telegraph have just upped the Rennard ante, revealing the specific allegations they put to the LibDem election head of comms Jonny Oates back in April 2010. Oates is now Clegg’s Chief of Staff. The lawyers eventually sat on the story after the strength of the denials, but the four out of the five allegations now emerge:

To which Oates responded:

The obvious question arises: without putting the specific allegations to Clegg, how could Oates have issued this denial to the Telegraph? Yesterday Clegg insisted only “indirect and non-specific concerns” had been raised with his office, back in 2008. This correspondence proves detailed allegations were presented to a senior aide, and judging by the response evidently him, in 2010. That is not what Clegg told us yesterday…

Clegg Does a Runner

Having flown in from Spain last night to make the Rennard crisis worse, Nick Clegg has done a runner. Guido just spoke to the LibDem press office who said he had got on a flight at Heathrow. They did not know, or were not saying, where he is going, but it was not mentioned in the timetable briefed to the lobby this morning.
Where’s Wally?
UPDATE:

WATCH: Boris Ejected From Assembly Meeting

A LibDem, Labour and Green attempt to wreck Boris’ budget, kicking him out of the Assembly meeting as part of the stitch up.
Interesting logic…

Vid via ITV.

LibDem Lord Plays Down “Mild Sexual Advances”

As Guido revealed in his Sun column yesterday, one fellow yellow peer has jumped to the defence of randy Rennard. Weirdy-beardy Lord Greaves has been fighting his corner on an internal party message board, suggesting the sex pest allegations were merely “mild sexual advances”.

“Are the allegations true? We will have to wait and see. Meanwhile I suggest people just calm down a bit. Is the alleged behaviour criminal? We don’t know the details of anything that may have happened. But it is hardly an offence for one adult person to make fairly mild sexual advances to another. What matters if whether they are pursued if they are rebuffed…In passing I would note and guess that if the allegations as made are a matter for resignation, perhaps around a half of the male members of the Lords over the age of 50 would probably not be seen again”

Then on a thread titled “Just a devious Beeb/Labour  plot to steal Eastleigh thunder”, Lord Greaves continues:

“Interesting to consider what is “sexual harassment”. Does one proposition constitute sexual harassment? If that is not normally the case (which seems common sense) might it do so in the particular context of the relationship between two people? And once there has been a refusal by the other person, how many more propositions constitute sexual harassment? We only know the identity of two of the complainants, as I understand it. In at least one case, if the event that is alleged too place, I’m surprised the response was not a slap in the face. But why the complaints have been made now is a mystery.”

Guido wonders what the party’s paltry female contingent would make of Greaves’ hands on attitude to dealing with the Rennard crisis. With friends like that…

Clegg v Farron

Last night’s statement went well then. As if today’s papers were not bad enough for the LibDems, the party leader and party president have given a masterclass in being unable to stick to the same line this morning. First, Tim Farron went for a straightforward approach on the Today programme, admitting “we screwed this up”. Minutes later Clegg refuted that suggestion, telling Radio Solent “we have nothing to hide as a party”. Last night Farron refused to deny this would be a resigning issue for his boss iflast night’s revelations were true…

Clegg ‘Personally Told About Rennard Rumours in 2008′

Clegg only talks about his office hearing the Rennard rumours in his statement: “I am angry and outraged at the suggestion that I would not have acted if these allegations were put to me”. ITV’s Lucy Manning and the Telegraph report that a LibDem raised concerns with Clegg personally in 2008:

“I was at an event with Nick Clegg and said Nick, you need to know that we have print journalists which I believe were, I think the Telegraph were chasing it, the Mail was chasing it and the News of the World was chasing it.
I said I believe there are three papers that are actively pursuing the Rennard story and he knew exactly what I meant, there was no ‘what are you talking about?’
As the party leader he knew exactly what I meant when I said it to him. He said, ‘Thank you very much, I will go and deal with it.’ And again nothing happened.”

Clegg’s clarification of his clarification needs…clarifying.