The Short Guide to Middle East Zoology
by Steven Plaut
Many people today are confused as to what characterizes an Israeli Leftist and how this species differs from others, including rational homo sapiens.
To help things along we have composed this guide for identifying them:
- Israeli Leftists: Believe the only way to defeat terrorism is by agreeing to the demands of the terrorists.
Non-Leftists: Believe the only way to defeat terrorism is by terrorizing the terrorists
- Israeli Leftists: Believe the entire Middle East conflict is about the attempt to deny self-determination to Palestinians.
Non-Leftists: Believe the entire Middle East conflict is about the attempt to deny self-determination to Jews.
- Israeli Leftists: Believe the key to peace is removing Israeli occupation of Palestinian lands.
Non-Leftists: Believe the key to peace is removing PLO/Hamas occupation of Israeli lands.
- Israeli Leftists: Believe that PLO violence is because Israel was not generous enough in its offers to the Palestinians.
Non-Leftists: Believe that PLO violence is caused by any offers of concessions to the Palestinians.
- Israeli Leftists: Believe that Israeli gestures and concessions reassure the Palestinians and make them more moderate.
Non-Leftists: Believe that Israeli gestures and concessions convince the Arabs that Israel is weak, vulnerable, and destroyable.
- Israeli Leftists: Believe that current Palestinian violence and atrocities are caused by Israel’s refusal to remove Jewish settlements from the West Bank and Gaza.
Non-Leftists: Believe that current Palestinian violence and atrocities are caused by Israel's removing Jewish settlements from Gaza's Hamastan and from the West Bank.
- Israeli Leftists: Believe that peace can only be achieved through granting statehood to the Palestinians.
Non-Leftists: Believe that peace can only be achieved through Denazification of the Palestinians.
- Israeli Leftists: Believe that the quintessence of the Middle East conflict is the injustice perpetrated against Arabs by Jews.
Non-Leftists: Believe that the quintessence of the Middle East conflict is the injustice perpetrated against Jews by Arabs.
- Israeli Leftists: Insist Jews have only themselves to blame for the hostility and hatred directed against them.
Non-Leftists: Insist Leftists have only themselves to blame for the hostility and hatred directed against them.
- Israeli Leftists: Insist they are in fact loyal, patriot citizens who seek only the best for their country.
Non-Leftists: Agree, except they note that Israeli Leftists regard Palestine as their country.
- Israeli Leftists: Believe Arab violence is caused by Israel using excessive force to contain it.
Non-Leftists: Believe Arab violence is caused by Israel using insufficient force to contain it.
- Israeli Leftists: Believe there is no military solution to the problem of terrorism.
Non-Leftists: Believe there is no non-military solution to the problem of terrorism
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