Jesus wept. You just can not make these things up. In three weeks time various desperate, creepy, touchy feely Brussels communications types (you know who I mean) are hoping to gather "young people" together in European cities to deliver an Isley Brothers-style shout to Europe. Let us forget for now (suspending disbelief is part of everyday life here in Brussels), that the message already came through loud and clear from France, the Netherlands and Ireland. Those "shouts", popular votes, went unheard. But, hey, never mind. That was real politics this is just advertising puff for the European elections. The "shout" is part of an MTV campaign (three spots, cost of EUR2.3 million) to "encourage young people throughout the European Union to share their feelings, ideas and concerns". The ads "feature young people hanging loudspeakers in London, Paris and Rome and aim to encourage young people throughout the EU to express themselves, to make their voices heard". "Young people will then be encouraged to make themselves heard politically, by taking part in the European Parliament elections in June." Appropriately enough, there is activity planned on Twitter too. All this excitement comes to a shattering, juddering climax on April 30 with an "EU-wide 'Can you hear me' sound wave". "Join us for the biggest shout in Europe. Ever. A roaring soundwave that can be heard from the North of Finland to the South of Spain." "Yes, that big. Yes, that loud." "Do it yourself or with friends - on the street, in town, at home, from a window or on the internet through a webcam." "We will film the event for a TV special that will be shown across Europe on MTV." Better keep your ears peeled or you might miss it. Needless to say, behind all the breathless, gushing PR prose is the cynical appreciation that "young people" must be bribed to secure their involvement in such a dreadful and moronic exercise. "Make your voice heard now and you could be shouting at a top MTV gig somewhere in Europe," says the website. "You and a friend could be off to a top MTV event. Capture or record a shout telling us how you feel about being part of Europe; your experiences, travels, culture - whatever you want to shout about! Get your mates involved or make it more personal." This is all typically patronising and commitment-lite, an indication of the low expectations and true contempt in which "young people" and the rest of us are held. It is European politics for cretins. "Whatever you want to shout about", it doesn't really matter what, it can be a swivel-eyed Eurosceptic rant, it can even be your holiday snaps, just as long as you do and as long as you do it with the EU for MTV. It is a circle jerk. This is the kind of mindless activity that really can make you blind. People, young or old, should not vote in the European elections unless they think they are being offered a manifesto that directly addresses politics - for the EU, to reform it or against it. It is better not to vote than to perpetuate a ghastly sham. If low turnout reflects a lack of political engagement with the EU project then so be it. It is certainly better to do nothing than to indulge the creepy, vampire-like proclivities of the political living dead in their restless search for youthful affirmation via stunts like this. In terms of how the EU functions and its practices, you can shout all you like. Changing things requires politics. How much politics, outside the empty, exhausted posturing of mainstream national parties or little England-type nationalists, will there be on offer in the European elections? Mindless stunts and exhortations to vote (it's your choice) are no susbstitute for politics and illustrate how little real choice there is. The EU, and most public authority at the national level for that matter, leans heavily on structures that lift policy to a technocratic realm above politics and maintain a public free zone for officialdom and diplomats. Time for politics for a change. To quote the great Gil Scott-Heron: "The revolution will not go better with Coke. The revolution will not fight the germs that may cause bad breath. The revolution will put you in the driver's seat. The revolution will not be televised, will not be televised, will not be televised, will not be televised. The revolution will be no re-run brothers. The revolution will be live." You won't find the revolution on MTV, especially when it comes from the EU communications people. Also high on you-could-not-make-it-up league today is this, read here Hat tip EUObserver. Officials have been given detailed instructions telling them how to evade open information rules by keeping two sets of documents, a "whitened" text for public release and a "separate" classified version. "Each official must be aware that all his/her documents, including meeting reports and e-mails can potentially be disclosed. You should keep this in mind when writing such documents. "This is particularly the case for meeting reports and emails with third parties (e.g. industry), which are favourite 'targets' of requests for access to documents. "Don't refer to the great lunch you have had with an industry representative privately or add a PS asking if he/she would like to meet for a drink. "The best thing to do is to make two separate documents," states the advice - read it all here. "By doing this, we avoid having to 'whiten' certain parts of the report, which creates an additional work burden." "Avoid recording statements which may turn out to be politically embarrassing for those who have made them and avoid adding such." A European commission official has just given me a lovely piece of doublethink. "Actually these instructions show that we are serious about transparency because it makes it easier to get reports out and means we can avoid having to blank parts out." Makes you wanna shout? Footnote: The naff EU officials and overpaid PR consultants who dreamt up this crap up are clearly thinking of Shout by the Isley Brothers. I know the lines they are thinking of in this much covered, 1959 classic - the Temptations probably did it the best but this 1981, live performance 1982, version by Joan Jett is pretty good. "You (EU) been good to me baby, Better than I been to myself, hey! hey! An if you ever leave me, I don't want nobody else, hey! hey! I said I want you to know-ho-ho-hey! I said I want you to know right now, hey! hey!" This is the message unloved eurocrats really want to hear - but never do. Other lines are perhaps more apt, following the French, Dutch and Irish referendum votes. "When you used to be nine years old, I was a fool for you, from the bottom of my soul, yeah!, Now that you've grown up , Enough to know, yeah yeah, You wanna leave me, you wanna, let me go."Politics for cretins, the EU way
Friday, 10 April 2009
Politics for cretins, the EU way
Posted By: Bruno Waterfield in Brussels at Apr 9, 2009 at 18:36:21 [General]
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