Godfrey Lands Himself a Brace of Bongos

Janan Ganesh is Wrong, Great Staff Do Matter | James Frayne
Dr, Who Will Be the Next PM? | Matthew d’Ancona
Massive Parliament Data Breach | Trending Central
Mandy Can’t Fix This | Dan Hodges
Spare Room Subsidy Working | ConservativeHome
I’ll Apologise to Bongo Bongo Land | Godfrey Bloom
Promote Some Strong Women, Dave | Cathy Newman
Right-Wingers Hate Us Because We’re So Good | Telegraph
Stephen Twigg and the Sharkado | Speccie
Stamp Out Stamp Duty | Mail
The Story of Recess | BuzzFeed

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 7, 2013

Godfrey Lands Himself a Brace of Bongos

Enterprising “humble music shop” Rainbow Music “in the bonny city of Dundee” have sent Godfrey Bloom a brace of bongos:

 ”It was to our surprise and bemusement that you wanted to cut foreign aid to Bongo Bongo Land, as we were not sure as to the specific geographical location of such a place and we thought you were referring to the places where Bongos’ are made and played. We were unaware that we were eligible for foreign aid it has made us further confused. As an MEP you must be well informed of such foreign aid and would appreciate it if you could point us in the direction of any money that is coming our way. In appreciation we are giving you a pair of the finest Cuban, Bongo drums which you can have a good session with. The bongos are a great way for a politician to unwind after a hard day of representing the people, particularly as you sounded rather angry and stressed out on the wireless this morning. “

Boom boom!

Via Paul Waugh

The Rebel Alliance Form South of France Hotel Pact

Lord Ashcroft’s ability to troll the Prime Minister knows no ends. When he’s not pouring claret down Tom Watson’s throat he’s lunching another former insider Cameron threw to the wolves:
Not a menacing picture, at all…

Strike Confirmed at the Indy

It’s official: strike action will go ahead at the Indyover editorial cuts.
Bosses won’t be too worried though – the action is planned for two hours on Friday afternoon.
Just enough time for a three bottle lunch…

Labour’s Zero Comment on the Co-Op
Zero-Hour Stance Spells Conference Chaos

Labour care so much about zero-hour contracts that they have waited until quietest period of the year, when the lowest of number of journalists and MPs are around, to raise the issue. The likes of Ed Balls, his puppet Chris Leslie, St. Ella of Creasy, Luciana Berger and Stephen Twigg have avoided mentioning one organisation that uses the flexible work contracts though. Why no attacks on the Cooperative? Could it be because like two dozen more of their Labour colleagues they are Cooperative sponsored MPs. They wouldn’t want to upset their donors now would they. Lets not forget that Labour owe the Co-Op bank millions…
Guido is wondering what Labour are planning to do about their upcoming conference in Brighton too. Surely they will make sure that all of those extra hotel waiters, barmaids and venue security staff are on minimum hour contracts before they go ahead with the conference?

Dave Admits He Owes Cruddas an Apology
Though Does Not Actually Say Sorry

According to PA the PM said of his former party treasurer “I rather think I do owe him an apology”:

“I rather think I do owe him an apology. Had I known at the time how badly the journalists had behaved, I might have been in the position to take a different approach. I am very sorry about that. I congratulate Peter Cruddas on his victory and on the verdict he has won. I think it is very deserved. He has done a huge amount for this country. I look forward to meeting him after the summer.”

Which is not the same as actually giving him in one.
Sorry seems to be the hardest word…
UPDATE: 
Labour are enjoying this:

“If David Cameron thinks he owes Peter Cruddas an apology, perhaps he should invite him round to one of his famous dinners for donors in Downing Street to tell him to his face.”

Wonk World Whacks Carney

The new Governor’s first big day at the office has gone down rather badly in wonk world: The IEAcall it “the most dangerous development in UK monetary policy since the late 1980s.”:

“Monetary policy should be designed to ensure that we have stable prices. The level of unemployment is mainly determined by a range of factors such a labour market regulation, the benefits system, tax rates and so on. To try to use monetary policy to reduce unemployment when inflation is already above target is playing with fire and could lead us down the road that we followed in the 1970s. This move also calls into question the independence of the Monetary Policy Committee and the Bank of England’s ability to fulfil its statutory duties.” 

The Adam Smith Institute accused him of “fumbling in the dark”:

“Mark Carney had the leeway to make radical change here but he’s bottled it with baby steps… unemployment and inflation come from both aggregate demand (which the bank can control) and aggregate supply (which it has essentially no control over). Since neither of these numbers distinguish between changes in supply or demand, the Bank is still fumbling in the dark with its guesses over whether a change in inflation comes from demand (which means it should react) or supply (which means it shouldn’t). This means firms are still left guessing, and it means that uncertainty still reigns.”

Well that went well then.

Dave Has Not Won War of Spanish Aggression, Yet

First Cameron declared victory in the War of Spanish Aggression with No.10 saying that embattled Spanish leader had told Dave on the phone that he is“committed to reducing measures at the border” of Gibraltar and that there were plans to “de-esculate” the situation. Something the Spanish promptly denied
Meanwhile, Peter Hain has joined the Spanish, saying Labour’s 2002 plan for joint sovereignty should be revisited:

“It would have given them everything they wanted, retaining British citizenship and everything about their way of life, down to having a pint of beer in the pub. The Spanish would have co-sovereignty, but the Gibraltarians would have got more devolution of power. There really were no negatives at all.”

Traitor.

Three More Years of 0.5% Interest Rate

Mark Carney has announced UK interest rates will be held at 0.5% until the unemployment rate falls to 7%, which is forecast to happen in late 2016.
Which will be nice midterm treat for whoever